A respected sage’s observation mirrored my subconscious thoughts with his saying that law of love always supercedes law of personal liberty. My tale from experience started out as an erotic and quixotic chronicle but ended on the irony….
For a year more than half a decade, I wondered what my first love would seem like… special, beautiful with integrity and high reputation to complement. My parents had already painted a tableau of an ideal lass for me (MBBS)…..a wench of exemplary virtue, flawless, loved and respected by all inclusive of the rich, the poor, the old and the young, illiterate and educated; she was the apple of everyone’s eyes. Albeit I felt indifferent, I swallowed my pride, stooped as low as pick-pocketing a dwarf to give her a career threatening shot only to be floored both home and abroad… and the ultimate search began….
I hung around a year short of half a decade and I worked tirelessly for close to 365 days just to get a romantic season with you. Meeting, hugging, kissing and shagging you, at first, felt hunky-dory until I got caught up in the ecstasy not knowing all the fantasy is nothing but pure fallacy. Everything seems too good yet surreal, but I remained sanguinely optimistic. Our first year anniversary was marred with solitude grossly attributed to the departure of those closest to my heart and quite unfortunately our second anniversary was unceremonious because you left me insolvent and in an utterly lachrymal state.
At a time, I wanted to break up the seemingly futile and dreary relationship and in all probability start anew with your half-sister (MCB) whom, along the way, I got infatuated to, but I lost the obsessive feelings and lust just from the first kiss. I vividly remember the online date I had back then in ’08 and how I use to intentionally abuse and embarrass you in the presence of your friends, my friends, our friends, just to make you feel bad about yourself, thinking you will thereby adjust your crooked ways and becoming a little more enticing. It all became worse towards the end of the second year as infidelity sets in on your side. I got achingly pissed on realizing how you screwed all my friends, wannabes and haters not even sparing my so-called best man to be; as saints and self acclaimed professors also got served.
Messier things really got in our third year as you turned nymphomaniac, screwing me over and over again hoping to send me to an earlier grave but eventually ending up in coma which you still didn’t let go as you kept blowing me time and time again.
Our fourth year went by with little or nothing to write home about because all you offered and offered to offer was complete boredom, insomnia and unrest of the mind.
Now all is said and done, my once feeble, still fainted and totally shattered heart is now finally in love with an angel. Writing, my doting secret admirer has now fully taken over the affairs of my heart and the satisfaction, fun, happiness and fulfillment which you denied and deprived me; and the dreams and visions you failed to actualize during the 4-year long journey have all been granted on a platter of diamond in just few months of courtship.
Take it or leave it, Chemistry, pure, industrial or whichever you are… My love for you died a long time ago. All I can say now is good riddance to bad rubbish because today March 8th, 2011, I’m dumping you for Writing, she with all axiomatic veracity, is the love of my life and I truly am Lancaster the poetry lover and not a poetaster or an Industrial Chemist as you would have expected me to be.
Adesuyi Lancaster Adesola ©2011