He is perfect… He is extraordinary… No, he is a gentleman…Hell no…he is a perfect gentleman…….I feel my ears burning…….Me……Perfect?

Whao!!! You are a very neat guy, I like you…… yet I’ve not brushed for two days and funny enough that day made it the third.

You have a glowing skin, which body cream are you using? ….. Yet I’ve not had my bath for close to a week now because I’m scared of being confined inside my small bathroom and too shy to bathe outside (my excuse).

Nice body shape and structure you get here, Lancs…..Are you working out? And sure you’ve been watching your weight…..Yeah I do watch weight lifting on TV, and the irony of it all is “I’ve never been to a Gym before and I always eat as if there is no tomorrow.

Brilliant, you had A+ in CHM 419; that seem the reward of excess burning of midnight candles and continuous dedication to hard work, not knowing I had dubbed my friends and to make matter more complicated I haven’t even checked the hand-out(s) for once.

You are a Kahuna; I can’t believe you just fixed my laptop…..unknown to him/her; all I did in the actual sense was try-an-error.

My ***** is now working, all thanks to you; I owe you one……I giggled because the tale would have changed had I not been lucky, having little or no idea about ***** or it’s engineering.

You are polite and courteous, but you failed to realize that the last bad stench you perceived thinking was soak-away gas leak was actually my fart.

He’s a ladies man, he’s got nice accent and great poise……yet I can’t face a lady, I like or seem to feel something for, to be mine and mine alone unknown to “them”.

He has a heart of gold and quite approachable and friendly……that seems more like Adebola, my mum’s attribute. I may truly be, in some way, friendly and possess the so called “heart” but it’s seldom stony gold.

Check out my new ……. Oh! It’s nice I’ll respond, with no sarcasm though extremely green with envy and hoping someone would snatch the piece and give it to me. That doesn’t make me egotistic, does it?

Shola and his girlfriend have been struck by Cupid’s spear and they are so compatible, he smiles all the time, he’s really happy “they” concluded……What a misleading notion, a fairy tale and a make-believe you believed in.

You asked for my generosity of the spirit and I promised heaven and earth not knowing it’s all going to die there, I ain’t gonna do it until when pressurized.

This is a very nice write-up… .Kudos… .even when you, I, hater, wannabes and all others knew so well it could be better.

Each passing day, people all around praise and admire me, look up to me like a perfect mortal, impeccable and flawless; thinking, dreaming and aiming to be like me, not knowing it’s more than just what the eyes can glimpse, the lips can profess, the ears can grasp the quintessence of, and the body can feel because things are a lot far cry from what they see or seem to detect.

If only you could look deeper and deeper than just the mask of gold hiding my deformities, you will notice the imperfection in me, thereby giving constructive advice and criticism necessary to make we whom you all thought me to be – A PERFECT GENTLEMAN. If you say it like you mean it and mean it like you care and care like you love me with veracity, I’ll be counting on you…. The room for improvement, they say, is the largest room in the world.

I’m Ayodeji Lancaster, a perfect gentleman-to-be…

Adesuyi Lancaster Adesola ©2011